Challenging our Thoughts
This article was previously posted on April 3, and was available to paid subscribers. Today, I am making it available to all subscribers!
I am now offering psychotherapy services in Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, and Florida. I have telehealth openings starting September 7th. My practice focuses on serving individuals and couples navigating miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss, IVF, ectopic pregnancies, molar pregnancies, TFMR, and pregnancy after loss.
To learn more about my services, click here.
Working with a therapist during this time can be crucial to your healing process. And, I am always honored to work with each of you as you navigate this journey.
Email me to schedule a consultation and learn more about my therapy practice.
*I have a few sliding scale slots for those who qualify!*
Today, I will explore one path from a psychotherapeutic lens. As you read, some aspect might be helpful! But there are many other healing paths you can take as well.
Pregnancy loss is an experience that can shake your emotional foundation and evoke a wide range of responses, from grief and guilt to anger and depression. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)is one therapeutic approach that offers a toolkit for navigating your experience. Here are some ways that CBT can help:
Identifying and Challenging Negative Thoughts
Thought Records: CBT often involves keeping a thought diary or log. Therapists help analyze these thoughts and identify any thought distortions like overgeneralizations (“I’ll never be happy again”) or personalization (“It’s all my fault”). Once thoughts like these are identified, they can be challenged and replaced with more balanced thinking.
Here is a thought record that can be helpful to review with your therapist. Each column is very helpful for both identifying and rewiring those automatic thoughts.
Cognitive Restructuring: CBT therapists work together with you to reframe unhelpful thoughts, usually by questioning the evidence supporting these thoughts, coming up with alternative explanations, and considering balanced perspectives. For example, self-blaming thoughts could be replaced by more compassionate thinking that understands that some things are out of our control.
Building Coping Strategies and Resilience
Relaxation and Mindfulness: CBT teaches techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and guided imagery meditations, which help reduce any of the physical anxiety associated with pregnancy loss. Mindfulness techniques focus on being present in the moment and acknowledging thoughts and feelings without judgment. Being mindful allows you to accept and observe your emotions without getting overwhelmed. These kinds of techniques can help promote emotion regulation.
Here is a podcast that guides listeners through a body scan.
Building Resilience: CBT helps you develop problem-solving skills. You learn how to challenge your own thoughts and alter your behaviors in a way that serves your goals. It also helps you build adaptive and balanced ways of thinking that can help you cope with future stressors.
Processing Grief
Behavioral Activation: It can feel really hard to engage in the activities you once enjoyed after going through a loss. CBT employs a technique called behavioral activation that helps you gradually reintroduce activities you used to love. This helps rebuild a sense of normalcy and a place to engage with different emotions amidst your grief.
Generally speaking, therapy helps you explore and express your grief by creating a safe environment to talk through your emotions, discuss memories, and figure out ways to honor your experiences in a way that feels helpful for you.
If you’re struggling after a loss…
Consider reaching out to a mental health provider trained in CBT.
Remember, The Miscarriage Therapist newsletter is not a replacement for individual therapy! If you are needing therapeutic support, reach out at erinctlcsw@gmail.com.