Day 11: The Language We Use

Finding the Right Mental Health Provider

Mental health providers, just like medical doctors, have specialties. Therapists are not generalists. They cannot treat everything.

Part of why we focus solely on targeting our own thoughts and beliefs in the first week of this program is to help recognize the type of support we need. Prior to the first week of this program, you might not have realized you needed a specialized therapist because you might have been downplaying your own emotions regarding your pregnancy loss. If you started out thinking, “it’s just a miscarriage, I shouldn’t be this upset,” then you won’t prioritize these thoughts and feelings, and you might not connect with a therapist who can support pregnancy loss. In fact, you might even connect with a therapist who shares that cognitive distortion.

Working with a therapist who is trained in supporting pregnancy loss is crucial. Before I knew there were therapists who specialized in pregnancy loss, I found a therapist with openings who lived near my apartment. It seemed like a good fit. Until, she said, “At least you know you can get pregnant! Everything is working fine down there.”

But it wasn’t working fine. Because this was my second miscarriage.