Welcome to week two of The Language We Use! If you’ve been following along up to this point, you’ve hopefully made some big changes in the ways you speak to yourself. This week, we are going to work on how we respond to others when they speak to us about our pregnancy losses, and how we can support ourselves when others invalidate our emotional experience.
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Validation and Invalidation
What does it mean to be validated and invalidated?
Validation: the action of checking or proving the validity or accuracy of something; recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid and worthwhile.
Invalidation: denying, rejecting, or dismissing someone’s feelings. A person’s emotional experience is inaccurate, insignificant, or unacceptable.
We have many invalidating experiences throughout our day. Some of them are very minor, and others can be obvious. Regardless of the severity, invalidation from others can be hurtful. We can internalize what others are saying, which leads us to question our own emotional experiences.
Think about all of the invalidating things people can say to us when it comes to our pregnancy losses. Here are some examples:
It’s just a blip on the radar. You’ll get pregnant again in no time.
It’s just one miscarriage. Everyone has one!
It’s simply nature’s way/God’s way.
It wasn’t meant to be.
Heaven gained another angel.
Everything will be better once you have your baby.
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