I Want These Feelings to go Away

How to navigate big emotions during pregnancy loss (and how not to avoid them!)

In the wake of a pregnancy loss, we might feel anxious, sad, angry, overwhelmed, traumatized, grief-ridden, ashamed, or embarrassed (just to name a few). How do we feel these feelings in a way that helps us, without avoiding them, but also without being overwhelmed by them?

In this post, I’ll talk about ways in which we avoid our feelings, how it impacts our mind and body, and what we can do about that.

How We Numb

Numbing can take many forms.

There are the obvious ones: drinking too alcohol, over-sleeping, binge eating, gambling, sex, spending too much money.

But then, there are the less obvious ones. I once heard a colleague say she knows she is in trouble emotionally when she stays in bed reading all day. At first, I questioned this. Isn’t a book an excellent coping strategy? Yes - until it isn’t. Until it becomes a way to avoid reality, numb out feelings. Until it is no longer a mindful coping strategy, and it becomes a mindless, meaningless activity, when we aren’t even sure what we have read in the last chapter.

We numb when we aren’t intentional about our actions.