Mindfulness Monday

Mindfulness for Impatience

The exercise, Mindfulness for Impatience, helps you to become more aware of feelings of frustration and impatience as they arise during the day and to compassionately support yourself to move back into the present moment.

Impatience is a common experience, both in the modern world, and after a pregnancy loss. Many of us become impatient due to traffic slowing, when someone is late to a meeting, or when we are forced to wait in line behind individuals moving particularly slowly. As you are feeling impatient, you might notice body sensations such as the urge to tap your fingers, leaning forward and moving closer to where you are trying to go, an increased heart rate, a sense of jitteriness, and feelings such as frustration, anger, or annoyance. We might also notice internal phrases go through our mind: what’s the hold-up? I can’t believe how long this is taking! Come on, keep it moving!

For pregnancy loss, we may feel impatient about how long it takes to complete a miscarriage, or how long we have to continue getting our blood drawn. We may feel impatient about how long our feelings may last. And, we may feel impatient if we want to try to conceive again, but we don’t feel ready.

Impatience is the mind jumping ahead and anticipating the future. This mindfulness tool helps us to recognize our unique signs of impatience, breathe, and reconnect to the present moment.

Start by taking a deep breath. Begin by naming the sensations you are feeling in your body.

Perhaps you are feeling jittery or short-tempered. Some might notice they are feeling tense and eager to get moving. Others may observe an increase in their heart rate or that they are holding their hands in tight fists. Take another deep breath. Try to name each physical sensation as it arises.

Once you identify the physical sensations of impatience in your body, notice your thoughts next. Perhaps you wish you were already home and not still commuting back from work. Some of us might continue to review the to-do list in our minds. Take another deep breath, gently turn your attention to the present moment, and ask yourself: what can I observe about this given moment in time?

Consider the observations you can make with your five senses: How do the clothes feel on your body at this moment? Do you notice any pleasant smells near you, maybe from a candle or air freshener? What sounds do you notice— perhaps there is a song playing in the background, or you hear wind chimes jumping in the breeze? What details can you notice visually? Can you spot your favorite color, or do you notice the beautiful quality of sunlight coming in through a nearby set of windows?

After exploring all these observations of this moment in time, bring your attention back to your body and check in with yourself. Do you notice any changes in the physical sensations you noticed earlier? Any changes to the thoughts going through your mind? Many people find that when they recognize the signs of impatience, practice an act of mindfulness (such as this exercise), and turn their awareness back to aspects of the present moment, impatience disappears.

Recorded mindfulness exercises are available for all paid subscribers of The Miscarriage Therapist.