Mindfulness Monday

Loving Kindness for Ourselves

Loving Kindness for Ourselves is focused on practicing mindfulness and self-kindness. It helps us consciously pause and provide ourselves with the same tenderness, care, and kindness that we might typically give to a friend going through a tough moment. This exercise helps us to provide ourselves with the support and self-compassion that we might need at any given moment.

After a pregnancy loss, it is not uncommon for us to feel a lack of support, a lack of love or compassion from others, whether it be kindness from our medical providers, empathy and validation from loved ones or friends. And when others don't provide us with the level of kindness and affection that we need, it becomes hard for us to do that for ourselves.

Today’s mindfulness practice will reconnect us to self-compassion, self-love, and self-kindness. Despite what is happening outside of us, we can always turn inward and give this to ourselves.

Begin by finding a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. If it feels safe to do so, allow your eyes to close. Take several deep breaths to settle into the position and allow your body to find a relaxed stillness.

Place your hand over your heart or wherever it feels most soothing to you. This serves as a reminder that you are bringing loving awareness to yourself. Allow the breath to fill your chest and your stomach, and notice how your hand moves as your chest rises and falls with each inhale and exhale. Continue this for several cycles of breath. 

Then, gently release the focus from your breath and begin to bring awareness to yourself and a phrase that would feel most comforting for you to hear in this moment. For some, it is clear right away what would feel most comforting and supportive for them to hear. For others, it is not as clear. If a phrase is not clear to you, I offer the following phrases to utilize in this practice:

May you be at ease.

May you be free.

May you be supported.

Softly repeat the phrase to yourself. Speak to yourself with the same loving or kind tone that you would use to comfort a friend. With each inhale, gently repeat the meaningful phrase to yourself and imagine a soft, serene warmth enveloping your chest. With each exhale, imagine sending this warmth out to the rest of your body, all the way from your chest to your fingertips and toes. Continue to breathe deeply and continue to repeat the meaningful phrase to yourself.

If you notice that your mind has begun to wander, refresh your focus by bringing attention back to the sensations in your body and your breathing. Then again, find the words that would be most comforting to hear in this given moment, and gently say them aloud.  

When you are ready, simply rest quietly and discontinue speaking the phrases aloud. Bring slow movement back into your body. Gently open your eyes.

Audio recordings of Mindfulness Mondays are available to all paid subscribers of The Miscarriage Therapist. Thank you to everyone for being here and sharing this space with me.