Mindfulness Monday
Validating our loss
It is July 1st, and for those of us here in the United States, we are entering a holiday week. For some of us, this week is filled with barbecues, cookouts, fireworks and time with our loved ones. And for some of us, maybe this holiday week isn't as celebratory, and that's okay.
Either way, when I think about times during the year that often involve socializing , it's easy for us to compare ourselves to others.
Today, I want to offer us a mindfulness exercise that helps decrease the comparison and focus on where we are in this present moment.
Life doesn't always go the way we would like it to. When we become pregnant, when we see a positive pregnancy test, our parenthood journey starts that day, that moment. While we may understand the very real risk of experiencing a pregnancy loss, we don't often see those positive tests and jump to loss or grief or anxiety or sadness.
Instead, we jump to what is the baby's name going to be? What month will the baby be born?
And so, when we have a pregnancy loss, we are now faced with a situation that is at odds with our hopes, our dreams, our desires, our expectations.
With that in mind, find a comfortable position. You can sit in a chair, sit upright with your back straight, or if it feels more comfortable to lie down, relax.
And begin by settling your body and taking a few deep breaths.
As you sit here, what emotions are you feeling?
What thoughts do you notice?
How is my body responding to this present moment?
Take a moment and sit in this experience.
These emotions, thoughts, and bodily experiences may take some time to sink in. They may also change naturally and spontaneously.
But the more we practice tuning in to our thoughts, our feelings, and our physical sensations, the more we can recognize patterns. And when we recognize patterns, we can start to prepare ourselves ahead of time to respond to them.
This is not about stopping unwanted thoughts or feelings from occurring, because after a pregnancy loss, we're going to have many unwanted thoughts and feelings.
But rather it's turning toward them to hold them with self-compassion and kindness. It reminds us that we need to tend to ourselves. It allows us to approach them with openness and curiosity. This time is not about shoving down the pain or ignoring it, but rather it's finding a new way to respond to this.
Start to bring yourself back to the room. Wiggle your fingers and toes. And simply notice how you feel in this moment. When you're ready, open your eyes.
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