Mindfulness Monday: The Butterfly Hug

Using the Butterly Hug for Self-Compassion

Sometimes, we need a hug. A hug can make everything feel a little better. A hug decreases anxiety, improves focus on concentration, and improves levels of self-compassion (You can learn more about the power of a hug on my practice’s podcast).

When we don’t have someone else to hug us, we can hug ourselves. A self-hug can release similar levels of oxytocin as hugging someone else can.

Many of us, after a pregnancy loss, experience anxiety, symptoms of post-traumatic stress, and feel emotionally dysregulated. A hug can help soothe these symptoms. Specifically, the butterfly hug.

The butterfly hug is a technique from EMDR therapy. It is a bilateral stimulation grounding technique that can calm our emotional state. It can help ground us in the present moment, and help us be more in tune with our bodies. It can help in moments of extreme stress, panic attacks, and disassociation.

How to Practice the Butterfly Hug

Place your hands on your chest, with your fingertips just below the collarbone. Link your thumbs together, and cross your hands, so your right hand is under your left collarbone, and your left hand is under your right collarbone. Your hands are making the shape of a butterfly. Close your eyes if it feels helpful.

Start by taking some deep breaths. And begin tapping your collarbone, alternating your hands. Your hands will look like they are mimicking a butterfly flapping its wings. Tap back and forth on your chest.

As you tap, repeat the following out loud, or in your mind.

I might be hurting right now. I might feel overwhelmed.

I might feel grief, or anxiety.

And, I am safe. In this present moment, I am safe. I choose calmness. I choose love.

I am worthy of love and belonging. I am worthy of support during this incredibly challenging time.

Repeat these phrases to yourself, or another phrase or mantra that your soul is calling for you to say.

Sit here for a few more moments.

When you are ready, slow your tapping, until you stop completely. Notice if there are any changes in your body. Notice any changes in your thoughts and feelings.

When you are ready, drop your hands, and open your eyes.

Share in the comments, if you wish.

How did it feel to give yourself a hug? What aspects of the butterfly hug were helpful?

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