My OBGYN isn't listening!

How to speak to your medical providers after a pregnancy loss

It’s just one miscarriage. We don’t worry until you’ve had three in a row.

Obviously, you’ll know when you’re miscarrying.

It’s nature’s way.

Are you sure you don’t want to try again? You’re just going to give up?

During my last pregnancy, I had a hematoma, a pool of clotted blood that forms, and when it bursts, you start to bleed. Mine popped, and I panicked when I saw the blood. I called the doctor crying, certain I was having another miscarriage. And she responded, “if you are miscarrying, there’s nothing we can do, and it’s just nature’s way of getting rid of something that won’t survive.” There’s nothing you can do? It’s nature’s way? Getting rid of something? This wasn’t something, this was my future baby!

But, because I had been here before, I paused, took a deep breath, held my husband’s hand, and said calmly but firmly, “I’m aware it’s nature’s way. This is my fourth pregnancy. But that’s not helpful when I believe I’m miscarrying for a fourth time. I’m very worried.”