My Two Abortions

Why Abortion Rights are Medically Necessary for Pregnancy Loss

I have had two abortions. For my second and fourth miscarriage, I took Cytotec, or misoprostol. It was the right decision for me, for my own well-being, my own mental health. Miscarriage is not instantaneous (even though the official medical term for miscarriage is “spontaneous abortion,” the process can be far from spontaneous!). A miscarriage can take weeks to complete. And the mental and physical torture is brutal.

The overturning of Roe v. Wade is terrifying. Our news headlines are terrifying. We in the United States are left with many questions. What happens to frozen embryos that haven’t been transferred yet, via IVF? What happens to women who have missed or incomplete miscarriages? This overturning should be seemingly clear and defined, but it isn’t.  In fact, I am so terrified that as I write this, I think of The Handmaid’s Tale, and I imagine Gilead police arresting me for my abortion crimes. That’s a frightening image. (If you’re a Margaret Atwood fan, read a recent article she published, titled “I Invented Gilead. The Supreme Court is Making it Real.”)

My four pregnancy losses are some of my most traumatic experiences, as they are for many women and couples. And while I wish they had never occurred, I am grateful for medical intervention to ease my pain, even slightly.

My second miscarriage, I sat in agony for two weeks waiting for it to complete. When my bleeding increased, I took a day off work thinking this was the day I would be miscarrying. But the day would pass with no movement toward completion. Cramping, bleeding and crying, I needed this pain to end.

By the time I had my fourth miscarriage, I felt like a pregnancy loss pro (as sad as that is to say). I knew what was waiting for me, and I wanted the process to be quick, smooth, and my pain managed.  The moment the OBGYN confirmed my miscarriage, I asked for a prescription combination of Mifeprex and Cytotec. I started the Mifeprex that day, and within two days, my miscarriage was complete. I took control of an uncontrollable situation.

My pregnancy losses were in my first trimester, and my experience doesn’t even scratch the surface of how necessary medical intervention is for those farther along in their pregnancy. Medical intervention is needed when a woman’s water breaks early (referred to as Pre-Premature Rupture of the Membranes, or Pre-PROM), or a when baby receives a fatal or life-altering diagnosis. These experiences are traumatic, and the decisions women are forced to make are fraught.

What is often glossed over in the discussion is that when you have a pregnancy loss, unless you get a D&C, you go through labor and delivery. Medical needs are granted to labor and delivery when it is a 9-month, healthy, breathing baby. But the same might not be granted for those of us already living with the pain that we have to deliver a dead baby. I deserve all of the medical interventions that my doctor and I feel are appropriate and necessary, for both my physical and mental health.

While I live in a progressive state, with decreased fears of my medical rights being overturned, others do not have this protection. I am scared for my fellow loss moms, both present and future, who might not have the same access to medical interventions to support them through one of the most challenging times of their lives.

We have work to do. Here are some ways we can all help fight for our medical rights:

1.     Share your story. I’ve shared mine several times, and you can share yours also! You can share it right here on our Substack. If anyone wants to share their story, I will be compiling your stories for a future post. You can remain anonymous. If you have had a pregnancy loss that required medical intervention, if you’ve had an abortion or supported someone through it, or if you’ve recently faced obstacles to obtaining healthcare, you deserve to have your voice heard.

2.     Sign up for text alerts. The ACLU and Planned Parenthood have a texting service that will alert you to rallies, actions, and steps made toward abortion rights. Text FIGHTBACK to 826-23 to sign up for the ACLU, and text ACCESS to 22422 to sign up for Planned Parenthood.

3.     Vote! Vote in your midterm elections, local elections, national elections. Vote, vote, vote!

4.     Create an abortion plan. Abortion Access Nashville has created a template for you to follow: bit.ly/AANPLAN

I will continue to fight this for all women in the United States. In our anger, grief, loss, and trauma, we can prevail.