August, 2020: I’ll have my Rainbow Baby in no time! I love Rainbow Baby Day.
August, 2021: Four miscarriages. Will I ever have a baby? This day feels weird.
August, 2022: I hate Rainbow Baby Day. I’m stopping my journey to parenthood.
August, 2023: I have my Rainbow Baby. But…now what?
Clearly, like many of us, I’ve had very mixed feelings about Rainbow Baby Day. Every year brings about new emotions: excitement, hope, despair, dread, ambivalence. And now, this year, I felt worried that Rainbow Baby Day would erase my past losses. That people would forget we’ve had losses along the way that made this day important.
And, maybe more importantly: I was worried this year that people would judge me if I wasn’t thrilled on this day now that I have a child. I am thrilled, and I’m sad I’ve had our losses.
Regardless of your parenthood status, Rainbow Baby Day can still bring up quite a few emotions. If you know what Rainbow Baby Day is, it means you have experienced loss, trauma, grief, anxiety, depression, and disconnection. And having a new, amazing human in your life does not mean these feelings go away.
Throughout this journey, we learn to integrate all of these feelings. We can be happy and sad at the same time. We can be thrilled and exhausted. We can be hopeful and ambivalent.
However you felt this year, in years past, and in upcoming years, it is completely understandable. You are allowed to hate this day, or you can love it. You can celebrate it, or stay far away from it. Whatever you are feeling is valid, and you are not supposed to feel any certain way, other than what you feel. And you deserve to honor that.
How did you all feel yesterday? How did you support yourself yesterday?
Sessions Now Available!
Starting in September, The Miscarriage Therapist has expanded! I have more openings in my practice for clients, along with low-fee sessions.
I have two new therapists joining The Miscarriage Therapist: Danielle Albetta and Danielle Tal.
Visit our website for more information, or send me an email!
Upcoming Support Group for Paid Subscribers
On Sunday, October 15, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, I will be offering a support group. During our time together, we will remember our babies, provide support, and hold space as a community.
To sign up, simply upgrade to a paid subscription. The link will be sent out as we get closer.