Lately, I’ve been tired with social media. So, I took a break. Last week, José and I traveled to London for vacation. We took a break. A break from work, from daily chores, household tasks, our to-do lists. And, we took a break from pregnancy and infertility. For the first time in a long time, we didn’t talk at all about our losses, IVF, adoption. Nothing!
After a pregnancy loss, the mental turmoil of what to do next is incessant. Do we try immediately, or do we wait a few months? Do we try naturally once more, or seek medical intervention? Every cycle can feel like a missed opportunity. Every blood draw, every genetic test, every prenatal vitamin. The constant worry - am I doing enough? Drink less caffeine, less alcohol. Eat less gluten and sweets. Make sure you exercise, but not too much.
And, in the midst of all of this, stay calm! Because stress doesn’t make happy ovaries.
The pressure to keep going, keep trying, and don’t give up on your dreams, is overwhelming. But, I’m here to say, it is OK to take a break from family planning. Actually, it’s great! Allow your body to heal. Give yourself time to process the grief, loss and trauma. We deserve that space. You are not a failure, you are not weak, if you need time.
And, guess what? You will have another cycle! Dr. Marc Sklar, a guest in season two of The Miscarriage Therapist, said, “One of the beautiful things about women, is that they have a cycle.” Your period will come back next month, you will have another chance to try again.
You can take a break for a year, a month, or even a day. How are you going to give yourself a break this week?
Here we are, taking a break, on our trip to the UK! We took one day out of our trip to travel to Stonehenge. This peaceful place, including the free-roaming sheep (not pictured) allowed us a moment of respite and connection.
My Next Read:
Leah Hazard’s Womb: The Inside Story of Where We all Began
I am so excited to read this book! I’ve been itching to get my hands on it, thinking it was only published in the UK. My first night in London, I spent an hour at a local bookshop, buying all of the books I couldn’t buy in the US. I’ve since learned that Womb IS available in the US!! If you can, pick it up and read it along with me.
Hazard writes about the long history of our uterus. The book includes chapters on our period, conception, pregnancy, pregnancy loss, health, and menopause. She answers questions about womb wellness, speaks with doctors who believe we can live a period-free life, and provides a wealth of research on an often disregarded organ.
Let me know if you read it!
Season Three of The Miscarriage Therapist is out now!
In our opening episode, I speak with Aly Rolfsmeier. We speak about missed miscarriage, anxiety after a loss, and she speaks about the invalidation that can occur when you get pregnant and experience a loss at a younger age.
She also recently shared a therapy practice, Maternal Minds Counseling, she has enjoyed working with in the Las Vegas area. If you are in Nevada, this is a great resource for you!