Walking to my Miscarriage

Plus, a coaching group and a therapy group

The Miscarriage Therapist Upcoming Coaching group: Surviving the Holidays After a Pregnancy Loss

The holidays can be hard after a pregnancy loss. How do we survive when we don’t feel like celebrating? How do we cope with seeing family?

Starting on November 5th, I will be hosting my annual group, Surviving the Holidays After a Pregnancy Loss. The group will run for six weeks (taking a week off for Thanksgiving), on Tuesdays from 5:30pm - 7pm.

The cost for this group is $300 for all six weeks - and I am offering a few sliding scale and pro bono slots as well! Stay tuned for a detailed outline of the group next week. To sign up or learn more about the group, you can respond to this newsletter, or send me an email.

Miscarriage Support Group: Healing Together, Led by Liz Smith, LCAT, CCLS

Liz Smith, at Goldsmith Therapy, is leading a support group for those who have experienced miscarriage.

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Walking to my Miscarriage

I woke up later than I wanted to. The morning of my OBGYN appointment, where I would likely be prescribed the medications needed to officially terminate my pregnancy. It had been two weeks since the doctor confirmed the fetus did not have a heartbeat.

Why didn’t anyone tell me a miscarriage could take this long? Two weeks knowing that I was carrying a dead baby. Two weeks waiting for the inevitable to happen.

Waiting to miscarry was torture. Knowing that my dead fetus was shrinking in size every day felt impossible to comprehend. The spotting blood teasing me when I woke up in the morning, leading me to think, “OK, today is the day.” And then it’s gone by lunchtime.

The emotional drain and drag was oppressive. And I needed this to be done.

I didn’t want to get out of bed, exhausted from the mental gymnastics I was putting myself through: I don’t want this pregnancy to end, I don’t want to take those pills. But I can’t live like this anymore.

I piled my hair high on my head. I skipped the makeup that morning. I also skipped my night face wash the night before, and yesterday’s mascara lined my lower eyelids. I pulled a hoodie over my t-shirt. I did manage to put on deodorant and brush my teeth.