How Are We Feeling?

I haven’t wanted to write this week. I haven’t wanted to think, to work, to engage. But, finally, today, I’m feeling ready.

I preemptively took Wednesday off from work this week, preparing myself for either a very late Tuesday night, or a depressing Wednesday. I awoke Wednesday morning to both exhaustion and sadness.

If you are here, you have likely experienced a pregnancy loss. And, if you have experienced a pregnancy loss, there is a very real chance you have had medical procedures that are now being threatened.

In the 2016 election, I awoke that Wednesday morning with an intense fervor for advocacy. I was ready to fight, to work, to advocate. I was ready to run for local office (seriously!). I wrote articles to be published with various advocacy groups.

But, this most recent election left me exhausted from the fight.

And then, I remembered that having this space, and continuing to show up here, no matter how large or small it may be, is fighting. In this space, we are advocating for our medical freedom. And so, I am going to continue doing exactly that. I am going to continue showing up in this space to provide education and support.

I wrote about my own experience with needing medical support during two of my pregnancy losses in this piece.

And, as I feel ready, I will continue to write more. For now, let’s continue to support one another on this painful journey we are on.

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Coping With a Second Miscarriage

After the doctor informed me I would be having a second miscarriage, José and I spent our days quiet, ambling around our apartment. Listless. Grieving. Passing each other without recognition, but also deeply clinging to each other.

Stay, go away. Hold me tighter. Please don’t touch me.